Not Dark Yet

Shadows are falling and I've been here all day
It's too hot to sleep time is running away
Feel like my soul has turned into steel
I've still got the scars that the sun didn't heal
There's not even room enough to be anywhere
It's not dark yet, but it's getting there

Well my sense of humanity has gone down the drain
Behind every beautiful thing there's been some kind of pain
She wrote me a letter and she wrote it so kind
She put down in writing what was in her mind
I just don't see why I should even care
It's not dark yet, but it's getting there

Well, I've been to London and I've been to gay Paree
I've followed the river and I got to the sea
I've been down on the bottom of a world full of lies
I ain't looking for nothing in anyone's eyes
Sometimes my burden seems more than I can bear
It's not dark yet, but it's getting there

I was born here and I'll die here against my will
I know it looks like I'm moving, but I'm standing still
Every nerve in my body is so vacant and numb
I can't even remember what it was I came here to get away from
Don't even hear a murmur of a prayer
It's not dark yet, but it's getting there.

Bob Dylan

Who has never killed an hour? Not casually or without thought, but carefully: a premeditated murder of minutes. The violence comes from a combination of giving up, not caring, and a resignation that getting past it is all you can hope to accomplish. So you kill the hour. You do not work, you do not read, you do not daydream. If you sleep it is not because you need to sleep. And when at last it is over, there is no evidence: no weapon, no blood, and no body. The only clue might be the shadows beneath your eyes or a terribly thin line near the corner of your mouth indicating something has been suffered, that in the privacy of your life you have lost something and the loss is too empty to share.

Mark Z. Danielewski

note to self:

Lidocaine

Lidocaine, thanks so much for taking away the pain that I tried so hard to evade

Lidocaine, thanks so much for making me feel sane, and all these people seem a little bit less lame

everyone needs to escape their pain x2

Lidocaine, oh i'm just so god damned glad you came and you remembered my first name

everyone needs to escape their pain x2

(singing)ohhhh Lidocaine

[Break]

Lidocaine, You and I are kinda the same

we both get bored and everything seems like too much for our little brains

so we get on a little train to try and find some kind of change

but everywhere we go is the same

every face, even planes that take us far and take is while

we always try to hide

cause everything we know is a lie

and everyone we know has died

at least 3 times i say it more

we always find the flaw

and everyone looks at us with that grin, woa woa

The Silent Years

"Nascemos para morrer,

Conhecemos pessoas para as perder,

Possuímos coisas para as deixarmos para trás."

Ditado Budista

gravamos os momentos com a memória para que se esbatam os pormenores?

Carol

"You can't get away from yourself by moving from one place to another"

Ernest Hemingway